05/11/2014

(Five tips to Angelina Jolie on surviving a career in politics) Entertainment




1.Try not to marry someone called Clinton. You will find that there    is a glut of politicians with that name on the US market,which is      presumably where you will enter politics.


2.Ideally try not to be married at all. Family and children are              always the achilles heel of female politicians. You will be held        accountable for your family in a way a male politician never            would. And,if you stay married to Brad Pitt,make sure he doesn't    have a secret habit of tweeting pictures of his private parts to            unsuspecting young women. Movie stars may be able to get              away with this,but if you are the partner of a female politician,it      is a certain career killer for her.

  While we are on the subject of Brad,you need to start training           him to sit in the audience at party conventions and gaze up at you     with rapt attention and doe eyes while you are speaking.                   Then,when you actually finish the speech,he should spring to his     feet,get on the platform and hold your hand. Resting his head on     your shoulder is always a good touch. Brad is an actor. He should   get the hang of it.


3. Invest in some smart shoes to give the media something to talk         about. In 2014 the media still insist on talking about women             politicians in terms of what they wear. Recently the Daily Mail       felt not a flicker of shame in covering a whole cabinet reshuffle       in terms of what the women who were promoted wore entering       10 Downing Street to receive the news:

   "The new environment secretary is very patriotic in red,white and      blue ensemble consisting of a snake-skin navy dress and red            jacket oddly finished with black patents shoes. Miss                         Truss,38,MP for South West Norfolk and the former junior               education and children minister,looked bright and sensible but a       little bit too 80's air hostess.
    
   "The new minister for planning and coastal communities Penny         Mordaunt was alone in braving the no-jacket look.This rather           tight,bright,purple dress-the £115 'Viola' by LK Bennett-makes       the most of 41-year-old Miss Mordaunt's figure. But who knows     what's with the MP for Portsmouth North's wrinkly nude shoes         and big bag?

   "Treasury minister Priti Patel,42,must be the first person in that          post to wear giant polka dots-her dress,from high street favourite     Wallis,costs £45. But that navy jacket looks like Ken Clarke was     its last owner and those sensible shoes could have been worn by       Baroness Thatcher. The MP for Witham's bag is the more                 fashion-forward £595 'Hepburn' by Aspinal of London". There         was more of this rubbish,but I will spare you.


4. Keep off the internet. Anonymity and new media have launched       a breed of misogynist  unheard of only a few years ago. They           reserve a particular hatred for female politicians. They are not         interested in debate,just in venting abuse that they would never      dare utter if they met you face to face. So,unless you have an            appetite for rape and death threats,leave the internet alone.


5. Finally,always remember why you went into politics. We live in     an era of unreasoning politician hatred,both in Britain and                America. Everyone has forgotten Winston Churchill's words:
  "Democracy is a terrible system until you consider the                      alternatives." But,if you always remember the people and the            causes that came into politics to fight for,that will carry you              through.


Best regards,

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